Changes

I just realized something about myself lol. I noticed that from Senior year of high school to my freshman year in college my maturity shot up to this incredible height. Last year I was so incredibly lazy or at lest it seemed. I missed 23 days of school. My junior year was more like 30. But, last year I never took much pride in my work. I always did what was required of me and was happy with a B or a C, with the occasional A in classes I enjoyed. I constantly compared myself to other kids. And I'd fluctuate between liking and hating myself. I dreaded going to school, hated being in the presence of so many kids that I couldn't understand. Then, all of the sudden I get into college and everything clicks. I have an A in Algebra, IN ALGEBRA. I passed Algebra in high school by the hairs on my chinny chin chin. How in the world is the happening? Firstly, I think this change happened due to my inter generational relationship. Dating an older guy definitely helps. But, I also think its the environment that has allowed me to flourish. What else could it be? I love college. Not necessarily the kids, except the sailing kids they're cool. But, the structure of the whole college life feels like me. People actually are here to succeed. No one bothers you. No drama of who kissed who and what she said. It's so relaxed. It's funny my mom was right too. All the girls that gave me problems in high school disappeared. None of them are even going to college. It's such a good feeling to drive to school and know I can finally be myself. I no longer feel afraid to voice my opinion. Sometimes I still feel as if I am envied or something, but, it doesn't phase me as much anymore. College is helping me realize that I have a real talent that most people only dream of having. I don't mean to be gloating about myself but understand I've spent my whole life wondering what was wrong with me. Why am I so different than the average girl? Why am I not girly? It feels so good to finally accept myself.